What Do You Want? May I Ask You Another Question....Why?
How do you define success? What does it mean to you? Do you have a clear picture of where it is you’re going and why it’s important to you to get there? What is your motivation?
We’re all so busy doing and achieving, working hard every day…going, where? Do you know what you’re working for? Do you REALLY want that promotion, to reach that weight or to get that new job? Do your goals inspire you? Are they in line with your priorities and living the life you picture for yourself?
A few weeks ago I started working with a personal trainer. Out of the gate I was all fired up and went in with the same old I want to lose 20lbs by this random super-aggressive date. She gave me a rather ambitious list of things to do to get there that I am positive would work if I was committed in that way. After the first week when we saw that I was apparently NOT committed in that way, we had to re-evaluate. I had to take a step back and look at my health goals the way I’ve started to look at the rest of my life since starting my coaching education. In reality, what I truly want is a healthy lifestyle where moderation and exercise are habit. What really motivates me is being happy, feeling good and what most recently gave me joy was realizing that my work outs allowed me to ski better and stronger than I have in years, maybe ever. And I want to be able to do all the things I love, like skiing and hiking, until I am very, very old.
I used to be able to make a goal like this happen just through sheer will. I would power through, rah, rah – no pain, no gain and make it happen. I was happy for a short time that I accomplished it but fairly quickly moved onto the next thing on my list….sort of missing the point and returning to old habits. But I’ve changed, what’s important to me has changed and that worn out old goal and approach isn’t what success looks like for me anymore. It came as a bit of a shock to me that I didn’t really care at all about losing 20lbs by that date. What I said I wanted didn’t motivate me. What I would have to do to make it happen in that time period wasn’t in line with what is really important to me and who I want to be.
If you have an elusive goal, one that you say you want but don’t seem to be able to work up any real enthusiasm for, then consider re-thinking it. Look at your list of goals. Now step back, get quiet and ask yourself what it is you really want from each goal. Why do you want it?
What about your priorities? Life happens, what is happening in your life right now that takes priority? For example, I only have about a year and a half left in Europe…travel and making the very most of this opportunity are priority. For me, that includes enjoying the local cuisine and wine along with the people, culture, history and art. I had to rework my goal to take those things into account.
How do you want to feel? Who will you be while on the journey to your goal and when you complete it? How do your goals and the strategy you have to get there tie into your priorities and vision you have for your life? Are they in line?
Address any conflicts you find between your priorities, what you really want vs. what you say you want, and then rework your goal accordingly. Know that once you reach it, you will be accomplishing your definition of success – not someone else’s.
With me as your coach, we will work together to fast track this process. You will get clear on what you want and why, and develop a strategy that gets you to your definition of success. Want to create truly inspiring goals? Click here to setup a free initial consultation.